thoughts on turning 40

 

Today I turn 40. It's hard to believe at times. I don't "feel" 40, whatever that means. I don't act 40. I don't look 40. But today I am 40. Sometimes I feel like I should be different. I mean, I like things that others call childish (video games, star wars, YA novels, blanket forts) but I also have an adult life. I work (often times too much), I pay bills, I have debt, I find more gray hairs then I would like to admit, there are lines around my lines, my knee creaks when it rains (which can be a problem since I live in Washington).

I've been asked recently if I'm dreading turning the big 4-0. "You're middle aged now!" Said one (quite annoying) co-worker. Perhaps I am now considered middle aged, but no. I'm not dreading it. While I may not be over the moon at turning 40 I will say that I'm looking forward to seeing what this next phase of life has in store for me. And I think that's a healthy attitude.

I've learned a lot over the last 40 years. Some were horrible things to learn. Some were great. But all in all, these are the experiences that helped shaped the person I have become. And I have to say that I happen to like who I am. 

I've learned:

+ Take care of your feet. Trust me, they are more important then you think.
+ Learning how to say no AND actually saying it is one of the most important things anybody could ever learn. NEVER feel bad for saying no.
+ Never forget that you matter too.
+ It doesn't matter if you have a huge circle of friends or if you have one friend. All that matters is that you have people around who let you be you. 
+ Remove toxic people as soon as you can and DO NOT feel bad about it.
+ Love is not a game. Please do not pretend otherwise.
+ Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed about.
+ Saying "fuck" is liberating as hell and it's one of the most versatile curse words. Use it more often.
+ Facing even "small" fears is still courageous. Give yourself credit.
+ Don't compare where you are in life to where someone else is. You have two different lives, two different experiences. It's not a race.
+ It's never too late to go back to school or learn a new skill.
+ Embrace your flaws. You are not damaged simply because you have flaws, Everybody does. Accepting them isn't a crime. Using them to excuse bad behavior, is. 
+ Say "I love you" to the ones you love. Say it often. There will come a day when they are gone.
+ Live your life. Eat the damn donut. Buy the dress. Go on that trip. Make the memories.

xx Melissa